Passions

Living in a well-off family from a young age, I grew accustomed to many nice things in
my life. I received new clothes frequently, I had a car to drive when I was 16, and plenty of nice
Christmas gifts every year. I never had to worry about where my next meal would come from or
paying for college on my own. I have so many blessings in my life, and I can confidently say that
I have been a happy person throughout my childhood. I think this comfortable life I grew
accustomed to lead me to desire even more wealth for myself in the future. I have always been a
competitive person, so maybe I had this mentality to try and be better than my parents. Whatever
my reasoning was, the desire for wealth and comfort was my motivation for working very hard
in school and other aspects of my life. 

Even though I didn’t really enjoy my high school classes, I still exerted my maximum
effort to get the best grades that I could. While my friends would play Xbox on a Wednesday
night, I would be up late studying for my AP physics 2 exam. Instead of coasting through my
senior year, I decided to take five AP courses. I did this to maximize my chances of getting into
the best college I could. Additionally, I devoted a lot of time to practicing the saxophone. I did
this in order to be in the best competition band at my school. Hopefully this would bolster my
college application and push me into a good university. I hated sitting in the bleachers on Friday
nights playing in the pep band at football games, and I envied my friends who were spending
their Friday nights at parties having a great time. I devoted myself to school and band because of my desire for success. Without this desire, I surely would’ve quit band instantly and slacked off
in school. My goal for success and financial freedom motivated me to do well in all aspects of
life. 

As a result of our comfortable upbringing, my parents always found the time to instill
certain values in my siblings and I. The last thing my mom wanted was for us to act spoiled. I
was eating dinner with my family on a weeknight during high school. My family tried to sit
down and eat meals together as much as we could with our busy lives, and on this specific night
our schedules lined up. My brother was discussing the possibility of getting a new car with my
dad, arguing that the one we drove was getting too old and beat down. He had a point since our
old, black Lexus sedan was nearing its 18th birthday. Despite this, conversations like this never
failed to anger my mom. “You kids are so spoiled”, she uttered. “When I was a kid, I never had a
car and we lived in a tiny row home with one bathroom. Our family worked hard, and we never
complained like you kids”. She had a point in saying this because we definitely didn’t need a
new car, it was purely just a desire. I think the way my parents improved their lives from when
they were younger was similar to the way I wanted to improve my life even further when I get
older. It’s not that I didn’t like my life growing up, its just that I had the constant desire for more.
This is why I was willing to work as hard as I did. This made me understand why my parents
wanted us to be appreciative and not act spoiled, since they had worked very hard to get to the
position they are in today.

As I neared the end of high school, I began applying for colleges. When I was younger, I
never had any specific dreams or aspirations for my future. This led me into the field of business.
I knew that business was a practical degree to obtain since there are many different job
opportunities within the field. I also knew that if I worked hard in this field, I could surely obtain a lot of wealth when I eventually got a job. It seemed liked a win-win situation to me. This led
my college applications to be targeted towards top business schools. I didn’t really know what
job I wanted when I got out of college, and I didn’t even know what jobs in the business field
would entail. I just knew that a good job would lead to nice things in life. Big house, fancy cars,
and country club membership were all things that I wanted to be a part of my future. When
choosing a field of work, those were the things I really had in mind, not whether or not I would
like my job. 

On a brisk Friday afternoon, Jack and Sophia joined me outside of Fulton Hall to start
one of our conversations. When we arrived, I could tell they both looked a little nervous, and I
assumed it was because today was the day we would talk for five minutes straight. I was a little
nervous too; my leg shook as I waited for my turn to present. While Jack was presenting, he
answered a question asking about what he wants in the future. He said, “I’ve always had the
mentality work hard now so you don’t have to work later”. Sophia responds, “how do you enjoy
the first part of your life if all you focus on is work?”. She seemed irritated by the comment as if
that isn’t a proper way to live your life. Despite this, I still felt like I related the most to Jack’s
viewpoint. This viewpoint of work now, play later is what motivated me throughout high school.
However, I was still curious about Sophia’s viewpoint. I knew that she was in the ROTC
program at school, so I asked her what motivated her to want a career in the military. She began,
“I don’t know, it’s just something I have wanted to do since high school”. “What do your parents
think about that decision?”, I asked. I was curious about this because I knew my parents would
not take it well if I wanted to serve in the military. She continued, “My mom didn’t want me to
do it at all, but she was understanding since I was passionate about it”. That is when it struck me,
I lacked a passion in my life. I hadn’t realized it before, but suddenly I realized I was on a journey to nowhere. All I wanted in life was to be successful, but for me all that meant was
money. Was this really the way I should be living my life?

Looking back, I couldn’t identify a passion of mine. The passion I am referring to is, “a
feeling of intense enthusiasm towards or compelling desire for someone or something”. When
Sophia talked about her future in the military, I began to envy her. I wished that had a goals and
aspirations in life like hers. I thought that a passion would give me more focus and meaning in
life outside of just desire for money. Feeling down, I began to wonder who else I knew that had
passions. My one friend wanted to take his piano skills and play in an orchestra, and another
friend had always wanted to be an engineer for NASA. The more I thought about it, I realized
that there are relatively few people that I know with obvious passions for their careers. 
I talked to my dad about his job, knowing that he loves the place where he works. He has
worked at the same company (disregarding merges) since he graduated from college. I asked,
“did you always want to be a software developer?”. He replied, “From the end of high school I
had a career in computer science in mind. However, I didn’t really fall in love with the idea of it
until I began working at Activant in my early twenties”. This was interesting to me because it
reminded me of myself. While my dad didn’t always have a passion, he began to enjoy his career
the more he got involved with it. I lack this passion currently aswell, but hopefully I can obtain
the same meaning from my career that he does. 

Life is full of uncertainty, and not everyone should expect to know their career from a
young age. I will have many experiences in college and beyond which will shape my thinking
and formulate my goals for my future. After what Sophia said about her career, I was concerned
about my own uncertainty. I wondered why I had worked so hard in high school without a plan
in mind for my future. However, I realized that I worked hard so I would have choices for a career and would never have to limit myself. Working hard in life has presented me with more
options, and from those options I will look to find what I truly want out of my career. I don’t
have a passion right now, and that’s fine. It’s only important that I keep on looking for it
throughout my journey of life.